Are You Pregnant and Thinking About Adoption?
Series: Factsheets for Families|
Child Welfare Information Gateway |
|Year Published: 2007|
Taking care of yourself after the adoption
If you have an unexpected or crisis pregnancy, you would benefit from counseling both during and after your pregnancy. The counseling during your pregnancy may help you make the decision about whether to place your baby for adoption. Counseling after the birth should help you learn to live with whatever decision you make. Most licensed agencies will provide free counseling throughout your pregnancy. They should also provide counseling after the adoption—for as long as you need it. Most States let adoptive parents pay for counseling in independent adoptions. In fact, some States require that adoptive parents at least offer, through the birth parents' lawyer, to pay for this counseling.
Grief and loss are common reactions for birth parents after they place their child for adoption. Some birth parents also go through phases of feeling guilty and angry. It's important to admit these feelings to yourself and to know that they're normal. Counseling may help you through the grief process as you learn to live with your decision, feel good about yourself and your decision, and plan for your future. Whether you choose an adoption with a great deal of contact or a closed adoption, you will probably be helped by counseling as you learn to adjust to the new phase in your life.
There are many examples of birth parents who have gone on to live happy, productive lives after placing a child for adoption. Moving forward does not mean that you will ever forget your baby, just that you are ready to accept the adoption and move on to a new part of your life.16
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