Home > Strengthening Families and Communities: 2009 Resource Guide > Chapter 6: Tip Sheets for Parents and Caregivers - Dealing With Temper Tantrums

Strengthening Families and Communities: 2009 Resource Guide

Author(s):  Child Welfare Information Gateway, Children's Bureau, FRIENDS National Resource Center For Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention

Year Published:  2009

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You are in section: Table of Contents Letter From the Children’s Bureau About the Resource Guide Protective Factors for Strengthening… Levers for Change: Deepening and Sustaining… Using Evidence to Support Efforts… Promoting the Five Protective… Nurturing and Attachment Knowledge of Parenting and… Parental Resilience Social Connections Concrete Supports for Parents Tools for Engaging Your Community Engaging Community Partners Tips for Working With Specific Groups Talking Points Temas de conversación Sample Press Release for National… Ejemplo de boletín de prensa Sample Public Service Announcements Ejemplo de anuncio de servicio público… Sample Letter to Legislators Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Child Maltreatment National Child Abuse Prevention Partners Federal Interagency Work Group on Child… Using the Tip Sheets for Parents and Caregivers Bonding With Your Baby Usted y su bebé: El lazo que los une Dealing With Temper Tantrums Los berrinches Connecting With Your Teen Cómo relacionarse con su hijo adolescente Teen Parents...You’re Not Alone! Hay muchos padres adolescentes como usted Ten Ways to Be a Better Dad Diez maneras de ser un mejor padre Raising Your Grandchildren Cómo criar al hijo de un pariente

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Chapter 6: Tip Sheets for Parents and Caregivers
Dealing With Temper Tantrums

What's Happening

Two- and three-year-olds have many skills, but controlling their tempers is not one of them. Tantrums are common at this age because toddlers are becoming independent and developing their own wants, needs, and ideas. However, they are not yet able to express their wants and feelings with words. Take comfort in the fact that most children outgrow tantrums by age 4.

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What You Might Be Seeing

Normal toddlers:

• Love to say "no!" "mine!" and "do it myself!"
• Test rules over and over to see how parents will react
• Are not yet ready to share
• Need lots of fun activities, play times, and opportunities to explore the world
• Respond well to a routine for sleeping and eating (a regular schedule)
• Like to imitate grownups and to "help" mom and dad

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What You Can Do

It is often easier to prevent tantrums than to deal with them once they get going. Try these tips:

• Direct your child's attention to something else. ("Wow, look at that fire engine!")
• Give your child a choice in small matters. ("Do you want to eat peas or carrots?")
• Stick to a daily routine that balances fun activities with enough rest and healthy food.
• Anticipate when your child will be disappointed. ("We are going to buy groceries for dinner. We won't be buying cookies, but you can help me pick out some fruit for later.")
• Praise your child when he or she shows self-control and expresses feelings with words.

If you cannot prevent the tantrum, here are some tips for dealing with it:

• Say what you expect from your child and have confidence that your child will behave.
• Remain calm. You are a role model for your child.
• Holding your child during a tantrum may help a younger child feel more secure and calm down more quickly.
• Take your child to a quiet place where he or she can calm down safely. Speak softly or play soft music.
• Some children throw tantrums to seek attention. Try ignoring the tantrum, but pay attention to your child after he or she calms down.
• Resist overreacting to tantrums, and try to keep your sense of humor.

When your child is having a floor-thumping tantrum, the most important thing you can do is remain calm and wait it out. Do not let your child's behavior cause you to lose control, too.

This tip sheet was created with input from experts in national organizations that work to protect children and strengthen families. To download this tip sheet or for more parenting tips, go to www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/promoting/parenting or call 800.394.3366.

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previous

You are in section: Table of Contents Letter From the Children’s Bureau About the Resource Guide Protective Factors for Strengthening… Levers for Change: Deepening and Sustaining… Using Evidence to Support Efforts… Promoting the Five Protective… Nurturing and Attachment Knowledge of Parenting and… Parental Resilience Social Connections Concrete Supports for Parents Tools for Engaging Your Community Engaging Community Partners Tips for Working With Specific Groups Talking Points Temas de conversación Sample Press Release for National… Ejemplo de boletín de prensa Sample Public Service Announcements Ejemplo de anuncio de servicio público… Sample Letter to Legislators Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Child Maltreatment National Child Abuse Prevention Partners Federal Interagency Work Group on Child… Using the Tip Sheets for Parents and Caregivers Bonding With Your Baby Usted y su bebé: El lazo que los une Dealing With Temper Tantrums Los berrinches Connecting With Your Teen Cómo relacionarse con su hijo adolescente Teen Parents...You’re Not Alone! Hay muchos padres adolescentes como usted Ten Ways to Be a Better Dad Diez maneras de ser un mejor padre Raising Your Grandchildren Cómo criar al hijo de un pariente

next

To view or order materials available from the 2009 Resource Guide, please visit our website at: http://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/res_guide_2009/

We value your opinion!
Please comment on this publication by taking our brief survey. Your answers are anonymous and will help us better meet your future information needs. Give Us Feedback on This Publication

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.

Email Order (Free)  Share  Tip Sheet (PDF 68 KB)  English Tip Sheets (PDF 764 KB)  Guide (PDF 2674 KB)

Updated on October 9, 2009