Home > Parenting a Child Who Has Been Sexually Abused: A Guide for Foster and Adoptive Parents > Parenting a Child Who Has Been Sexually Abused: A Guide for Foster and Adoptive Parents: Seeking Help

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Parenting a Child Who Has Been Sexually Abused: A Guide for Foster and Adoptive Parents
Factsheet for Families

Author(s):  Child Welfare Information Gateway

Year Published:  2008

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You are in section: Table of Contents 1 - Educating yourself 2 - Establishing Family Guidelines for Safety… 3 - Seeking Help Conclusion

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3. Seeking Help

Responding to the needs of a child who has been sexually abused may involve the whole family and will likely have an impact on all family relationships. Mental health professionals (for example, counselors, therapists, or social workers) can help you and your family cope with reactions, thoughts, and feelings about the abuse.

Impact of Sexual Abuse on the Family

Being an adoptive or foster parent to sexually abused children can be stressful to marriages and relationships. Parenting in these situations may require some couples to be more open with each other and their children about sexuality than in the past. If one parent is more involved in addressing the issue than another, the imbalance can create difficulties in the parental relationship. A couple's sexual relationship can also be affected, if sex begins to feel like a troubled area of the family's life. When these problems emerge, it is often helpful to get professional advice.³

Your child's siblings (birth, foster, or adoptive) may be exposed to new or focused attention on sexuality that can be challenging for them. If one child is acting out sexually, you may need to talk with siblings about what they see, think, and feel, as well as how to respond. Children may also need to be coached on what (and how much) to say about their sibling's problems to their friends. If your children see that you are actively managing the problem, they will feel more secure and will worry less.

When one child has been sexually abused, parents often become very protective of their other children. It is important to find a balance between reasonable worry and overprotectiveness. Useful strategies to prevent further abuse may include teaching children to stand up for themselves, talking with them about being in charge of their bodies, and fostering open communication with your children.

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Counseling for Parents and Children

Talking with a mental health professional who specializes in child sexual abuse as soon as problems arise can help parents determine if their children's behavior is cause for concern. Specialists can also provide parents with guidance in responding to their children's difficulties and offer suggestions for how to talk with their children. A mental health professional may suggest special areas of attention in family life and offer specific suggestions for creating structured, safe, and nurturing environments.

To help a child who has been abused, many mental health professionals will begin with a thorough assessment to explore how the child functions in all areas of life. The specialist will want to know about:

• Past stressors (e.g., history of abuse, frequent moves and other losses)
• Current stressors (e.g., a medical problem or learning disability)
• Emotional state (e.g., Is the child usually happy or anxious?)
• Coping strategies (e.g., Does the child withdraw or act out when angry or sad?)
• The child's friendships
• The child's strengths (e.g., Is the child creative, athletic, organized?)
• The child's communication skills
• The child's attachments to adults in his or her life

After a thorough assessment, the mental health professional will decide if the child and family could benefit from therapy. Not all abused children require therapy. For those who do, the mental health professional will develop a plan tailored to the child and family's strengths and needs. This plan may include one or more of the following types of therapy:

• Individual therapy. The frequency and duration of therapy can vary tremendously. The style of therapy will depend on the child's age and the therapist's training. Some therapists use creative techniques (for example, art, play, and music therapy) to help children who are uncomfortable talking about their experiences. Other therapists use traditional talk therapy or a combination of approaches.
• Group therapy. Meeting in groups with other children who have been sexually abused can help children understand themselves; feel less alone (by interacting with others who have had similar experiences); and learn new skills through role plays, discussion, games, and play.
• Family therapy. Many therapists will see children and parents together to support positive parent-child communication and to guide parents in learning new skills that will help their children feel better and behave appropriately.

Whether or not family therapy is advised, it is vital for parents to stay involved in their child's therapy or other kinds of treatment. Skilled mental health professionals will always seek to involve the parents by asking for and sharing information.

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Your Child Welfare Agency

If you are a foster parent or seeking to adopt a child, you may wish to talk with your social worker about what you discover about your child's history and any behaviors that worry you. Sharing your concerns will help your social worker help you and your family. If your child exhibits problematic sexual behaviors, be aware that you may also be required to report these to child protective services in order to comply with mandated reporting laws in your jurisdiction.⁴

Many adoptive parents also call their local child welfare agency to seek advice if their child shows troubling behaviors. Child welfare workers are often good sources of information, can offer advice, and are familiar with community resources. Adoption agencies may also be able to provide additional postadoption services or support to adoptive parents who find out about their child's history of sexual abuse after the adoption is finalized. For more information about postadoption services, see the Information Gateway web section: www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/postadoption/

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What to Look for in a Mental Health Professional⁵

Finding a knowledgeable and experienced mental health professional is key to getting the help your family needs. Some communities have special programs for treating children who have been sexually abused, such as child protection teams and child advocacy centers. You may also find qualified specialists in your community through the organizations noted below.

• Child advocacy centers
• Rape crisis or sexual assault centers
• Local psychological or psychiatric association referral services
• Child abuse hotlines (See the Information Gateway publication, Child Abuse Reporting Numbers: www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-11172)
• Child protective services (CPS) agencies
• Nonprofit service providers serving families of missing or exploited children
• University departments of social work, psychology, or psychiatry
• Crime victim assistance programs in the law enforcement agency, prosecutor's, or district attorney's office
• Family court services, including court appointed special advocate (CASA) groups or guardians ad litem

Therapy for children who have been sexually abused is specialized work. When selecting a mental health professional, look for the following:

• An advanced degree in a recognized mental health specialty such as psychiatry (M.D.), psychology (Ph.D. or Psy.D.), social work (M.S.W.), counseling (L.P.C.), or psychiatric nursing (R.N.)
• Licensure to practice as a mental health professional in your State (Some mental health services are provided by students under the supervision of licensed professionals.)
• Special training in child sexual abuse, including the dynamics of abuse, how it affects children and adults, and the use of goal-oriented treatment plans
• Knowledge about the legal issues involved in child sexual abuse, especially the laws about reporting child sexual victimization, procedures used by law enforcement and protective services, evidence collection, and expert testimony in your State

³ For more information about sustaining a healthy marriage, visit the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center website: www.healthymarriageinfo.org. back
⁴ See Information Gateway's Mandatory Reporters of Child Abuse and Neglect at www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.cfm. back
⁵ The following information is adapted from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children's Parental Guidelines in Case Your Child Might Someday Be the Victim of Sexual Exploitation: www.missingkids.com. back

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This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.

Updated on July 3, 2008