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When Your Child Wants to Search for Birth Relatives

The desire to search for birth relatives is a normal part of the identity formation process for adoptees. There are many reasons why adoptees choose to search. Some common reasons include the desire for general birth family information like names of birth parents, where they live, and what they are like; information about birth family traits and personalities; information about the circumstances surrounding the adoption; and the need for medical history information. This section provides information for adoptive parents on why adoptees search, how to support adoptees who are searching, how to start a search, and suggestions for talking to adopted children about birth families.

The Adoptee Search: Looking for the Missing Piece (PDF - 73 KB)
Center for Adoption Support and Education, Inc. (2000)
Provides guidance for the parents of children who are searching for birth relatives.

The Experience of Adoptive Parents in Adoption Reunion Relationships: A Qualitative Study
Petta & Steed
American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 75, 2005
View Abstract
Examines the issues experienced by adoptive parents when faced with an adult child's searching or reunion relationship with his or her birth family, how adoptive parents place themselves within this process, and the factors that influence their experience at this time.

Searching for a Past: Why Adopted Children Seek Their Roots and How Parents Can Respond
Schooler & Atwood (2008)
In The Whole Life Adoption Book: Realistic Advice for Building a Healthy Adoptive Family
View Abstract
Discusses reasons why adoptees search for their birth parents, possible outcomes as a result of the search, and strategies that parents can use to respond to the need to search.

Searching for Birth Families
Howard (2009)
Includes information for adoptive parents on how to start a search and offers tips on how to talk to adopted children about birth families.

Searching for Birth Families Internationally
Adoptive Families Magazine
Provides articles and resources for adoptive parents considering searching for their child's birth relatives in another country.

Updated on October 6, 2009